Hello beautiful. Yes, you right there, I am talking to you!
I guarantee most people reading this will not think of themselves as beautiful and could possibly be at a low point in their day, week, month or year. In a world that is evolving with so many image conscious people, it can be hard to not be consumed up in an unrealistic portrayal of how you should look.
Everyone is unique and beautiful and with a little self-love, we can all find our peace with our body, looks and place in this world.
Have I always had this outlook on life? Definitely not. Rewind several years and how I thought was a different story entirely. Rewind back to my school days to be precise and what you would have found was a very awkward tall, timid girl who thinks she does not belong or fit in with her classmates. I am not going to beat around the bush here, my school days were crap. I was always tall for my age often towering over most of the boys in my class. Often referred to as “the jolly green giant” and “squeaky voice” due to the quiet tone of my voice. Yes my school years where not ones of joy but a pure form of torture which would stay with me through 12 years of my life and beyond.
Let’s face it children can be cruel at times and with no concept of how their words or actions can escalate into bullying whether mental or physical. Some of the worst memories I have of my school years where being pushed down stairs, called lots of names in front of my class, ignored at break times and lunch while everyone would all sit together and look over and call me names and snigger. My finger was even forced into a vice once in the Technology room and I had part of my ponytail cut off. It is horrifying to think that these things could happen in a school. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, stand up and say something. Do not accept this behaviour and certainly do not let anyone get away with it.
The summer before I embarked on my final year in high school was when I spent a lot of time with my older cousin and her friends. Together they helped me to realise that I did not have to put up with this behaviour and I had to stand up for myself. When I returned to school in September for my final year I was stronger, more determined that I would no longer be walked over and I damn well stood up for myself.
Thankfully the world we now live in has a huge focus on mental health and schools have good pastoral care systems in place which promote zero tolerance. I am sure the knowledge of the things that happened to me could possibly be happening in their school would make the majority of teachers shudder. The reality is, it does still happen. Whether mental or physical
abuse, bullying still happens and with social media, it gives these pathetic bullies a bigger platform to express their hatred for individuals.
If there is anyone reading this who does not know who or where to turn I beg of you do not ignore it. Do not hope it will go away like I did. Tell someone. Whether you are in a school or a workplace. No one deserves to be treated in any way, shape or form that makes them feel un-safe, scared or lonely.
Even in our modern day workplace bullying and harassment is very much alive. People do not realise that the smallest throwaway remark can really affect a person. It is down to how someone perceives it. What one person may laugh off, to another it can make them feel isolated, picked on, bullied. It is a word that is downplayed. It is very much alive and sadly growing.
The amount of times I have been subjected to cheeky remarks or a put down comment is ridiculous. We just have to keep fighting back. Stand up to it and let those know that it is not ok. That behaviour is unacceptable and we will stand against it.
No one should go home from work feeling sad and lonely or embarrassed. Even made to feel angry at how they where spoken to. Ladies I can tell you now this is not acceptable. Do not accept it. Put on those big girl pants and next time someone has a remark or hurtful comment give them a huge smile back that says you will not break me. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.
The way I look at it you cannot please everyone and nor do I want too. I am my own person, I have a good job, an amazing family around me, some of the best friends one could ever dream off and I have something so special that is my proudest achievement ever and that is my two beautiful children.
I am a mother. These words just fill me with pride and joy. Ones that I am so thankful I have been blessed enough to say. When I look at my two beautiful babies, I just think wow I made that. When I listen to the excitement of their little voices telling me about their day at school I smile knowing that I am raising them to be beautiful human beings with so much love and affection. I got through the horrible school years. I tackled the bullying head on, I came out the other side, and now I try to not let anything faze me.
That is what matters to me. Not the comments and remarks. Not the rolling of eyes or nastiness from people. I do feel incredibly sad for them and think to myself that their lives must be so full of sadness and hate that they feel the need to bring someone down. They do not see the strong, independent, loving, beautiful woman or girl who embraces the beauty of the world around her. Once I read a lovely quote “Never deprive someone of hope, it might be all they have”.
So what do I do you might ask when faced with these situations? I just smile a little more and with my little mantra in my head I stand a little taller and walk on…..I am beautiful, I am strong, I am a mother, I am proud, I AM WOMAN.
I may not be a supermodel strutting down a catwalk but I am a curvy girl representing the majority of women and proud to do so and who is full of life and joy.
It has taken me years to be able to have the confidence to stand up for what I believe in and know how I should be treated. What others see as your weakness are often the things that make you work twice as hard.
If there is one thing I can say to you all right now, it would be that I hope you take away from this, that no matter how you might feel today or tomorrow, any self-doubt or feeling of not being good enough or not pretty enough, thin enough or whatever your inner struggles may be, with a little persistence, patience and positivity you will love yourself.
Be kind to yourself. There is no one as beautiful and unique as you. We are all beautiful unique girls and women and have so much to offer the world.
Do not let any negativity get to you. Do not hold onto any anger or resentment for those who try to burst your bubble. As long as you are happy and healthy move on from it.
Go forth and conquer ladies
You do you best
Love Sharonn x